When the delightfully eloquent Ann Coulter needed a new website for her latest masterpiece of thought and insight, Advomatic dropped the greasy over-sized turkey leg we were gnawing on, scrambled into our horse-drawn carriages, careened away from our Carpathian Mountaintop castle cafeteria to get to work for the perfect Republican party spokeswoman, whom almost-Jesus-loving Mitt Romney calls "just great."
We fell ass over tea kettle in love with her when she was the only one standing up to those bone-seeking, personal-effects junkies who dare to call themselves 9/11 relatives, just because their "husbands" were conveniently in the World Trade Center when Saddam Hussein blew it up.
Now on our website system, she daily debunks several preposterous myths - like how we on the radical right-wing secretly hate the lazy non-white people, the radical homosexuals, the science, the secular leftists, "ragheads", and the Jews (we don't hate the Jews, they are going to start the Rapture that brings forth our Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, in his golden, fleece diapers, with his curled-up, fat, balled-up little fists pawin' at the air...).
Her voice is needed to counter this perverted age of liberal media domination, liberal judicial activism, peace talks, etc. - we are proud to work with her brave and husky baritone, her forceful jawline, enormous hands, and size 15 pumps to restore chaos and hatred.
Advomatic worked with Miss Coulter to foil the liberals' unfair attacks and expose their most important daily ritual - the ceremonial vivisection and cannibalization of living, white human infants. And when they're done feasting on the tender young flesh of the white race, they regroup several hours later to defecate together on rug-sized reproductions of the United States Constitution. And then of course, they pray to Satan and Allah while strapping each other into latex gravity boot systems so they can hang upside down like rabid, naked fruit bats for the rest of the day and watch Keith Olbermann on MSNBC while urine runs down their inverted torsos and in to their hideous, liberal, gaping maws.
Of Advomatic, Ann herself attests, "For a bunch of faggots they sure can build a website."
Thanks bitch.
